


The Policeman's Secret Love

by paperscribe



Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Romance Novel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-03
Updated: 2013-10-03
Packaged: 2017-12-28 06:51:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/989027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperscribe/pseuds/paperscribe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Julie gets Lewis reading romance novels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Policeman's Secret Love

"Morning, Julie," Lewis said, rummaging in the tea room for the little bag of sweets he'd stowed for difficult days.

Julie smiled, looking up from her book. "Morning, sir."

"What's that you're reading?" he asked.

She held up the book so he could see.

Lewis peered at the book, frowning as he read the title aloud. " _Love and Other Crimes_? Is that a romance novel?"

"Of course it is, and it's brilliant," Julie said loyally.

Lewis had been twitted enough about his own tastes not to vocally disparage others', but sometimes it was difficult. "If you say so."

"Have you read any Ayesha Watham?" Julie asked.

"No, I haven't had the pleasure," Lewis said tactfully.

"You really should. They're wonderful. It's an entire series of police love stories."

"And that's interesting?" Lewis said.

"All her characters are so real," Julie said. "They're like people you could actually meet. You should read her first one, _The Policeman's Secret Love_."

" _The Policeman's Secret Love_ ," Lewis repeated with an air of incredulity. "I'll keep that in mind."

"I have it at home," Julie said. "I'll bring it for you tomorrow if you like."

"Sure. That'll never get me in trouble, being seen in public with a copy of _The Policeman's Secret Love_ ," Lewis said.

Julie laughed. "Do I need to arrange a drop?"

Lewis would've been ashamed to admit how seriously he considered the option. "Oh, go on and bring it. I can't promise I'll finish it, but I'll make a start anyway."

"You won't be sorry," Julie said.

Lewis wasn't so sure.

***

Thankfully, romance novels were small enough to slip into a pocket. Lewis carried Julie's book with him all day, and if Hathaway noticed the suspiciously book-shaped object secreted on Lewis's person, he didn't comment on it.

Lewis waited until he was in the privacy of his own home to remove the book from his pocket. He stretched out on the sofa in full expectation that the book would lose him five sentences in.

**If she was honest with herself, Detective Sergeant Meg Anniston was at a bit of a loose end. Her normal governor, Detective Inspector Tomlinson, had just gone on maternity leave. Meg was happy for her; she knew how long Tomlinson had wanted a baby. Still, Meg had worked with Tomlinson ever since she'd become a DS, and now she found she didn't quite know what to do with Tomlinson gone.**

Lewis set aside the book for a moment. Somehow he hadn't expected that. He'd thought romance novels were like romantic comedy films--two people meet by accidentally falling on top of a wedding cake, they hate each other, and then the shouting turns to kissing and impassioned declarations of love.

This book wasn't like that at all. It actually began with a copper doing her job, and Lewis could relate to the feeling of not knowing what to do when your usual boss was gone. He read on.

**DCI David Llewellyn stuck his head into her office. "Feeling a bit bereft?"**

**Meg smiled at him. Llewellyn had a reputation for being somewhat set in his ways, but his ways were usually brilliant enough to resolve any case set before him. He was a kind man with a warm smile that he deployed far too rarely. Meg liked him.**

**"Does it show?" she asked.**

**He nodded. "To those of us who've been there." He paused. "Matter of fact, my bagman's on loan to the Metropolitan Police."**

**"Moving up in the world," Meg said.**

**Llewellyn nodded. "She is. I spoke to the Chief Superintendent and...well, what do you reckon?"**

**It took Meg a moment to work out what Llewellyn was talking about. "You want me to work with you?" She knew she couldn't do better; for all that DCI Llewellyn could be an exacting boss, she also knew he was a loyal one, and there wasn't anyone she could learn more from.**

**"If you'd like to," Llewellyn said.**

**"I would," Meg said. "Have you got anything on the hob?"**

**Llewellyn nodded. "I've got the whiteboard half drawn up already. Help me make sense of it?"**

**Meg nodded, leaving her chair. "Of course."**

***

Lewis took the book to work with him so he could continue to read it as he ate his lunch. Waiting until that night to find out what happened next seemed like too long a wait.

"Oh, what are you reading?" Hathaway asked.

Lewis couldn't think of a convincing lie, and he certainly couldn't think of it quickly enough to dispel Hathaway's interest. "Erm..."

Hathaway squinted at the book cover, silently reading the title. Lewis could tell when Hathaway was done reading because Hathaway's lips were twitching in that way they did when he desperately wanted to smile.

"You disappoint me," Lewis said.

Hathaway's smile vanished and he looked genuinely stricken. "Why, sir?"

"I never thought you'd be the sort to judge someone based on his reading material."

"I haven't said a word," Hathaway protested.

"Don't think I didn't see that smirk on your face," Lewis said. "For your information, there's a lot of good stuff in here."

Hathaway looked noncommittal now. "Is there?"

Lewis nodded. "The main character, Meg, she's a corker. Julie loaned me her copy but you might ask for it next."

"That won't be necessary, sir," Hathaway said.

"Why's that?"

"I've already read it."

"Did everyone hear about these books before me?"

Hathaway's only answer was a smile.

***

**"Tell me something, Meg," Llewellyn said, his voice gentle. "Are you always so brave?"**

**Meg shook her head, tears prickling at the corners of her eyes. "That wasn't brave, what I did today."**

**"I think it was," Llewellyn said, moving ever closer to Meg. "You took a risk."**

**Meg could barely meet his eyes. "A bad one."**

**"No," Llewellyn said, and then he did something unexpected. He cupped her cheek in his hand.**

**"Sir," Meg whispered, wondering if this meant what she thought it meant...what she hoped it meant.**

**"Not sir, Meg," Llewellyn said. "Not now. It's David."**

**Meg nodded. "David."**

**Slowly, wonderfully, David leaned in to kiss her.**

***

Lewis stayed up until three in the morning to finish the book, and once David and Meg were safely together, he gave a little grunt of satisfaction, closed the book, and set it on his nightstand.

_You wish that would happen to you,_ Lewis's mind informed him.

So what? That wasn't unusual. Everyone wanted to fall in love. It wasn't fair of him to expect it or ask for it, not when he'd already had it for so long. But he'd be lying if he said he wasn't lonely sometimes, that he didn't miss the casual (and not so casual) affection of simply being with someone.

_Wonder if Hathaway'd ever look at me the way Meg looked at David,_ Lewis thought, and the idea pleased him. Hathaway was one of those posh blokes with everything bottled inside, but if he ever decanted, Lewis suspected the amount of affection and loyalty there would be enough to make anyone happy.

_Just wish it was me._

***

Lewis tore through the rest of the Watham books in record time; he'd never read so much in his life. In fact, he'd gone to Waterstones to buy the whole series; there were only three so far, but Julie assured him there would be more.

Then Hathaway came into the office one morning and plunked down a book in front of Lewis-- _Love Most Arresting_ , by Ayesha Watham.

Lewis stared at the book. "Where did you get this? It won't be in print for another month!"

"I know some people in publishing," Hathaway said, "and I've noticed how much you enjoy her books. This is an advanced review copy, though, and you're technically not a reviewer, so keep it under your hat."

Lewis gave Hathaway an appreciative smile. "Thanks."

***

Lewis was halfway through the new book, and it was just as good as the others, but _The Policeman's Secret Love_ , awful as the title was, was still his favourite. He set aside the new book and picked up his dog-eared copy of _The Policeman's Secret Love_ , ready to flip to his favourite scene (Meg and David's first kiss, of course). Then he noticed something.

Ayesha Watham had a middle initial.

Suddenly it all made sense. Lewis nearly dropped the book.

He had to see Hathaway.

***

Hathaway opened the door to Lewis. "Sir?"

"How is it exactly that you managed to get an advanced review copy?" Lewis asked.

Hathaway flushed a bit and opened the door further. "You'd better come in."

Lewis did. "I've been thick as cheese on toast. You left clues for me, didn't you? Took me long enough to suss out that Ayesha J. Watham was an anagram for James Hathaway."

Hathaway spoke slowly, as though the words were being pulled reluctantly from him. "I didn't leave the clues for you exactly. I was more...amusing myself."

"Should I ask about the stories?" Lewis said.

Hathaway looked down. "I wish you wouldn't."

Ah. So they were personal, then. "Llewellyn. The name should've told me right away. Is he based on me?"

Hathaway nodded. "I know what your next question is, but please...don't."

Lewis shook his head. "Haven't got any more questions. Nice of you to give me a promotion though."

Hathaway looked at him in surprise. He had a terrible hunched-in set to his body--the look of someone about to be punished, the look of someone expecting to be punished.

"D'you write other things? Spy thrillers and that?" Lewis asked.

That was the wrong thing to say. Hathaway cringed involuntarily. "You don't understand."

"No, I don't," Lewis said. "So explain it to me."

Hathaway turned away from him. "I need these stories because they're the only way this will ever be true."

It took Lewis a long moment to decide what he was going to say. The wrong thing would build a wall so thick between them he'd never see the real Hathaway again. Then he realised he already knew what to do.

"Tell me something, Meg," Lewis said, glad he'd read the first Watham book as often as he had. "Are you always so brave?"

Hathaway whirled round, ready to protest the teasing...and then he saw it wasn't teasing. His mouth opened and closed silently as he tried to work out what the hell was going on, but finally, he answered with Meg's reply. "That wasn't brave, what I did today."

"I think it was," Lewis said, taking a few steps toward James. "You took a risk."

Hathaway nodded. "A bad one."

"No," Lewis said, reaching out to rest his hand against Hathaway's cheek.

At the touch, Hathaway closed his eyes, exhaling softly and pushing his cheek into the touch the way a cat arches his back into being petted. The longing in his reaction was unmistakable. Then he lifted both hands and placed them over Lewis's hand, keeping it against his face, eyes still closed.

_He thinks he's dreaming_ , Lewis realised with a start.

"You can't imagine," Hathaway said in a rough whisper, eyes still closed.

"I can try," Lewis said, moving across the gap still between them for a kiss. He'd had the benefit of reading Hathaway's romantic fantasies, so he knew how slowly to go, how gentle to be.

He was unprepared for Hathaway's response, however. Hathaway kissed him like a starving man who'd been given a meal--with his whole heart in it, hungry, holding nothing back. Lewis knew more of Hathaway from that kiss than he'd learnt from six years of talking to him.

"Please," Hathaway whispered in between kisses. "Oh, please, please..."

"Eh?" Lewis said, too distracted at the moment to form full sentences.

Hathaway's touches were growing needier, more urgent now. His hands roamed Lewis's shoulders and arms, trying to find a place to rest that felt like home. They finally stilled on Lewis's shoulders, tentatively guiding Lewis closer to him.

Lewis realised Hathaway was still afraid to ask for what he wanted, so he pressed closer to Hathaway, their bodies flush against each other, his hands resting flat on Hathaway's back. Hathaway's response was immediate; he wrapped his arms around Lewis, leaning in to nuzzle his neck.

As Lewis caught his breath, he noticed how tightly Hathaway was holding him...as if he were afraid Lewis would change his mind or run away. He closed his eyes at the gentle, almost timid touch of Hathaway's lips against his neck, a touch that said more clearly than any words _please love me._ Lewis rubbed one hand up and down Hathaway's back, bringing his other hand to gently cup the back of Hathaway's head. He did love him.

Slowly, Hathaway's body relaxed against Lewis's, and his embrace loosened. He took a step back, looking for an excuse, an apology, still trying to make a clean exit. Lewis shook his head, touching Hathaway's lips with his fingers to tell him he didn't need to say anything. Hathaway was quiet. He waited.

Lewis leaned in to kiss Hathaway again, and it was his kiss this time, tender and gentle, letting Hathaway know there would be time for anything they wanted to do. He wasn't running; he wasn't angry. He wanted this too. There was love here.

When Lewis pulled away, Hathaway looked shaky. "I couldn't have written that."

Lewis smiled. "Turns out you didn't have to."


End file.
